Objective Evidence.

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Claire
Posts: 910
Joined: Fri Mar 02, 2018 8:25 am

Re: Objective Evidence.

Post by Claire » Fri Jul 27, 2018 8:53 pm

SEG wrote:
Claire wrote:You've been telling me that if I don't answer your question then you won't answer mine, and that would classify as emotional blackmailing.
Ah, now you are deflecting to "emotional" blackmail for the first time and using that to straw man me. Sorry, even that tactic fails.

According to Wiki:
Emotional blackmail and FOG (Fear, obligation or guilt), terms coined by psychotherapist Susan Forward, are about controlling people in relationships and the theory that fear, obligation and guilt ("FOG") are the transactional dynamics at play between the controller and the person being controlled. Understanding these dynamics is useful to anyone trying to extricate from the controlling behavior of another person, and deal with their own compulsions to do things that are uncomfortable, undesirable, burdensome, or self-sacrificing for others.[1]
1. First of all, we aren't in a relationship, even though Chappy alludes to this. Agreed?

2. Answering my reasonable questions should not be uncomfortable, undesirable, burdensome, or self-sacrificing for you. Or do you disagree that they are?

3. Or is that question too difficult to answer too?
SEG wrote:
Claire wrote:I've been saying you're blackmailing me, and based off that you assumed I could only have been using that term in regards to a criminal offense (see below), because you were unaware of such a thing called "emotional blackmailing".
SEG wrote:How is requesting that you answer my questions first equated to blackmail? It's called playing fair and square in my book and not a criminal offence!
Now, emotional blackmailing isn't limited to people in a romantic relationship, and the site you quoted didn't even say romantic relationships, just relationships;
are about controlling people in relationships
So, just as the word "blackmail" doesn't only refer to a criminal offense, the word "relationship" doesn't only refer to a romantic connection.

Emotional blackmailing is seen more often in relationships in general where someone is close to another, because they know the other well, which means they learn from what they do and don't do. While you and I do not have an intimate relationship, we have a longtime going, close social one, and even though our interaction is limited to online, emotional blackmail still applies. And, there's different types of emotional blackmail, and your behavior is that of a "Tantaliser (carrot danglers)" i.e.
  • Unless you do what I want, I don’t do what I promised you to do.
  • I’ll do this if you do what I want (but the promise never materialises).
  • I will help you if you . . .
Your words,
I'll answer the rest of your questions once you answer mine first.
Why emotional blackmailing?
Blackmailers hate to lose. To them, love, trust, respect and fairness don’t matter, what’s important is to come first, to get what they want, to win.
Source: https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/e ... blackmail/

You want me to sacrifice a certain amount of control, and give into your petty demands for no other reason than to validate your own bias, despite what I actually say.

You're emotionally blackmailing me.
In your mind, and that's what's scary. If someone asks a series of questions on a forum, they are usually after answers out of interest. To accuse them of being emotional blackmailers is a little over the top. I'm done here, Claire.
You haven't just been asking questions and you know it. You took the liberty of answering a few questions to me for me, and concluded the answers to be correct. But, you still wanted me to answer, and used my questions to you as leverage. And, you said I'm "too scared to answer" and "this thread is finished" if I don't do what you want. So, you've been essentially saying, "If you do what I want, then I'll do what you want. If you don't, then you're too scared and we're done".

That is emotional blackmailing.

You want me to sacrifice a certain amount of control, and give into your petty demands for no other reason than to validate your own bias, despite what I actually say. While you don't need to accept anything I have to say, I see little point in me giving my answers if I know you're not actually listening.

Claire
Posts: 910
Joined: Fri Mar 02, 2018 8:25 am

Re: Objective Evidence.

Post by Claire » Sat Jul 28, 2018 11:28 pm

SEG wrote:
Claire wrote:You've been telling me that if I don't answer your question then you won't answer mine, and that would classify as emotional blackmailing.
Ah, now you are deflecting to "emotional" blackmail for the first time and using that to straw man me. Sorry, even that tactic fails.

According to Wiki:
Emotional blackmail and FOG (Fear, obligation or guilt), terms coined by psychotherapist Susan Forward, are about controlling people in relationships and the theory that fear, obligation and guilt ("FOG") are the transactional dynamics at play between the controller and the person being controlled. Understanding these dynamics is useful to anyone trying to extricate from the controlling behavior of another person, and deal with their own compulsions to do things that are uncomfortable, undesirable, burdensome, or self-sacrificing for others.[1]
1. First of all, we aren't in a relationship, even though Chappy alludes to this. Agreed?

2. Answering my reasonable questions should not be uncomfortable, undesirable, burdensome, or self-sacrificing for you. Or do you disagree that they are?

3. Or is that question too difficult to answer too?
SEG wrote:
Claire wrote:I've been saying you're blackmailing me, and based off that you assumed I could only have been using that term in regards to a criminal offense (see below), because you were unaware of such a thing called "emotional blackmailing".
SEG wrote:How is requesting that you answer my questions first equated to blackmail? It's called playing fair and square in my book and not a criminal offence!
Now, emotional blackmailing isn't limited to people in a romantic relationship, and the site you quoted didn't even say romantic relationships, just relationships;
are about controlling people in relationships
So, just as the word "blackmail" doesn't only refer to a criminal offense, the word "relationship" doesn't only refer to a romantic connection.

Emotional blackmailing is seen more often in relationships in general where someone is close to another, because they know the other well, which means they learn from what they do and don't do. While you and I do not have an intimate relationship, we have a longtime going, close social one, and even though our interaction is limited to online, emotional blackmail still applies. And, there's different types of emotional blackmail, and your behavior is that of a "Tantaliser (carrot danglers)" i.e.
  • Unless you do what I want, I don’t do what I promised you to do.
  • I’ll do this if you do what I want (but the promise never materialises).
  • I will help you if you . . .
Your words,
I'll answer the rest of your questions once you answer mine first.
Why emotional blackmailing?
Blackmailers hate to lose. To them, love, trust, respect and fairness don’t matter, what’s important is to come first, to get what they want, to win.
Source: https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/e ... blackmail/

You want me to sacrifice a certain amount of control, and give into your petty demands for no other reason than to validate your own bias, despite what I actually say.

You're emotionally blackmailing me.
In your mind, and that's what's scary. If someone asks a series of questions on a forum, they are usually after answers out of interest. To accuse them of being emotional blackmailers is a little over the top. I'm done here, Claire.
You haven't just been asking questions and you know it. You took the liberty of answering a few questions to me for me, and concluded the answers to be correct. But, you still wanted me to answer, and used my questions to you as leverage. And, you said I'm "too scared to answer" and "this thread is finished" if I don't do what you want. So, you've been essentially saying, "If you do what I want, then I'll do what you want. If you don't, then you're too scared and we're done".

That is emotional blackmailing.

You want me to sacrifice a certain amount of control, and give into your petty demands for no other reason than to validate your own bias, despite what I actually say. While you don't need to accept anything I have to say, I see little point in me giving my answers if I know you're not actually listening.

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