The Venting thread

[marcuspnw]

AAAAAAAaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so frustrated!!!! Most of you guys know that my middle son is handicapped - his legs never developed right and they're really small, and he has bad scoliosis. He uses an electric scooter to get around, and we have a handicap placard so we can use the handicap parking spaces - they give us room to use our lift and to drive the scooter to the side of the car so I don't have to lift my 100+ pound son from the side of the car to the back, and it lets him not have to go behind the parked cars where it's dangerous because he's low and they can't see him well.

SO - last year, we always got this one handicapped parking space that was right up front. This year, there are some more people with handicaps, so we usually don't get that one, but we get one a few rows down.

That is, if there are no able-bodied people taking them... *fume*

The absolute WORST offender is this lady in an expensive green Jaguar (this is not a usual car - it's by far the most expensive car in the lot). Pretty much every day she takes a handicapped spot and does NOT have a handicap placard (unless she keeps it in the glove box and never shows it yeah right ) So today, we're a little later than usual - still on time, but a little later than usual - there is only ONE handicap spot left - I have my placard hanging from my rear-view mirror and I'm coming towards the one spot from one side, then I see her coming from the other side - and she zips into the handicapped spot!!!!

There are now NO handicapped spots left. At this point, I pull up past her and put it in park and start unloading in the parking aisle, hoping that maybe she'll finally realize, when she sees me use the lift and drive the scooter to the side of the car, that YES, THERE IS A REASON FOR HANDICAPPED PARKING SPACES FOR HANDICAPPED PEOPLE! I get the kids safely off and decide this is it - I'm going to politely ask her to PLEASE not take the handicapped spaces when she's not handicapped. I step towards her car and wait for her to back out, where she'll have to go right by me and I can flag her down - and she snivels out the front! (squeezing by the concrete parking block thing).

I don't like those militant handicap activists that will shut down a mom-and-pop restaurant if they can't afford to put in a ramp, but this is different - a completely able-bodied adult who continually takes advantage of all the other able-bodied people at school by doing something illegal, and continually takes advantage of all the handicapped people who live day in and day out with pain, difficulties, and danger, and to whom that handicapped parking spot is a real help in a hard life.

What should I do? My husband thinks I should write a letter and politely give it to her, starting with something like "Please stop and consider what you are teaching your kids when you continually break the law and take advantage of handicapped people by parking illegally in the handicapped spots". I think that's a good idea, because I really don't want to turn her off from handicapped people.

Or maybe I should just slash her tires?

Anyway, I needed to vent.

Rian, you and your husband are too kind.

I would inform the school administration that this is going on and maybe the principal can get his or her butt out there before school and intervene. I would record that parent's thoughtless behavior with a camcorder or a cell phone prior to complaining. I don't think a private letter means anything to a jerk. She is in violation of the law and her compliance will cause her no hardship as there are far more parking places from which to choose. Now, if I was Bruce Almighty, I would flip her car on its top and depending on my mood maybe with her in it but then again, that's probably because I'm on the dark side!

[whoosanightowl]

I've never done it before, but I'd be very tempted to key her pretty little green car. I'd probably leave a note under her windshield wiper first and give her a chance to change her selfish ways.
Or if there's a police car around, tell them so they can ticket her...not that a few bucks will matter to someone who can afford a Jaguar.
Good luck, I know I can't stand to see able bodied people using those handicapped parking spaces either, so I can imagine how frustrating it is when you actually NEED one and it's being taken by someone who doesn't.

[darkumbra]

This is easily solved.

Place a note on the car that reads 'next time you park in this handicapped spot? We will video record i, call the cops, and YouTube it!'

Problem solved

[Rian]

Thanks for your ideas and support, guys - I'm not feeling so bad now. Although keying is tempting, and I've thought of taking pictures, I think I'll contact the school principal and explain all of the ramifications to HIM (like me having to lift and carry my 100 pound son if I can't drive the scooter to the side of the car in a handicapped spot) and he can talk to her and give both a warning (stop it now or whatever school consequence will happen) and try to teach her with a letter in the faint hope that she still has a conscience!

I called the police, and they just confirmed what I thought - all I can do is call them, and it's a very low priority call so they probably won't come.

[Pseudonym]

If I may offer one humble suggestion: Rian, don't be confrontational to the lady in question yourself. I like the idea of a polite letter (not mentioning that you'll escalate it if she doesn't stop her thoughtless behaviour), and I like the idea of getting the principal to do the confrontational stuff for you. I don't like the idea of you mentioning to her "I will record you and call the police".

The last thing you want is for her to start resenting people with disabilities in general. So if there's going to be a confrontation, it should be with an authority figure and not with you, especially if your son is present.

Good luck.

[NH Baritone]

The last thing you want is for her to start resenting people with disabilities in general.

TOO LATE!

I dare say that, in parking her over-privileged car in an under-privileged spot, she is acting out her growling resentment of folks with handicaps.

The best you can hope for is compliance with the law. An uplift in sensitivity will have to wait until she or a loved one is sufficiently gimped to require handicapped access. At that point, I expect she will not hesitate to call the cops on the able-bodied occupants of handicapped parking spots. Narcissistic entitlement is a life-long affliction.

[Pseudonym]

I dare say that, in parking her over-privileged car in an under-privileged spot, she is acting out her growling resentment of folks with handicaps.

Perhaps, but it's very possible to be just plain lazy without harbouring any latent resentment. Hell, by now she might just be doing it out of habit.

BTW, I like playing armchair psychologist too.

[Rian]

I agree, Pseudo, I don't think confrontation in an aggressive way is what's called for here - I think the confrontation can be carried out by the authority figure (the principal) with my letter (but not signed by me) to hopefully open her eyes a bit (I think that she's really never even thought of how a disabled person gets from car to scooter, 'cause she's not used to thinking about things that don't involve herself! ) but not draw any unwelcome attention to my son (or my daughter, for that matter, but I really just added that in because I had a parenthetical addition after every other phrase in this sentence! )

My number 1, top priority here is to protect my son, and second is to support disabled people's access to those things that are legally and reasonably theirs (I mean, come on, lady, I'm sure you take an aerobics class or a Pilates class or whatever - just think of the few extra feet of walking as a warm-up!) I'm thinking that principal + anonymous letter is probably the best bet.

Thank you again, everyone, for your ideas and support - your support has taken out most of the sting of the incident. I'll let you know what happens

(if you don't hear from me again, I've probably been ground into the tire tread of a green Jaguar ... )


Another vent - what a day! - the insurance lady never called us to reimburse us for the money they owed us for the rental car we got when THEIR client slammed into my son's truck and it was 100% her fault! - so I finally called her to remind her and ask about it, and she was just incredibly rude.

I called her supervisor and left a polite but firm and detailed message. Maybe the lady was rude because she realized what a mistake she made, but that's no excuse - she should have apologized instead. Whatever - I hope her supervisor corrects her so she'll be more professional to the next person.

[Rian]

Aw, crap - after having the best day I've had in a long time yesterday, I had a horrible night - up literally all night, unable to sleep with headache and pain. And it's summer vacation now, so the kids are home and (very understandably) wanting me to take them places, and I feel like death warmed over. Crap! I hate this illness.

Update on handicapped parking issue - my nephew was able to take my son to school in the mornings since I posted here last - what a blessing! Anyway, the few days that I had to take him (nephew sick or on another schedule) usually people were not in the spots illegally. The last week, though, sure enough, there she was in the spot again - Green Jaguar Lady!

I decided to speak to someone else I saw parked illegally about it a few months ago (making it a grand total of two people that I've spoken to; I'm not big on confrontation) and it went really good. She was very embarrassed about it and kept apologizing and said she would never do it again, and that she had never thought of how if she pulls into the last spot, she can't tell if the person just coming in needs it, and then they'll see it's taken and have to park far away. I think a lot of people are like that - they just think hey, I'll just be a minute ... they don't realize that the spots can fill up very quickly without them even realizing it, and then they stay longer than they think, and then they don't even realize that people with real needs are driving by and seeing the spots are all taken. Anyway, I ended up trying to make her feel better because she felt so bad! saying that I was sure she didn't mean bad, but she just never thought it through, etc. I'm not trying to make people feel bad - I'm just trying to point out things that they've probably never thought of, and the nice people will respond well. The jerks will just continue to be jerks, but whatever.

Sorry for rambling, I hope this makes sense, I'm just so freakin' tired ....

Anyone else talk to people parking in handicapped spots that don't have a placard lately?

[Tim-the-Hermit]

I’ve been having trouble with pain too, Rian; a really nasty discomfort in my right side. My GP thought it was an infection, then gallstones and now IBS. So I’m trying some tablets for that.

He gave me tramadol earlier, which made me feel awful in my head so now I’m on co-codomol, which help a bit.

We’ve been in the wars a bit!

That lady seems a lot nicer than a lot of others who abuse disabled bays without a conscience!

[Rian]

Yes, I think she was one of those that really just never thought about it.

Sorry about your pain!