The Missing Sock Mystery

[Magenta]

While we may have many differences, it appears that no matter who you are, what you believe in, or where you live, we all face the mystery of the missing sock.
As the chief cook and bottle washer in my household, this has puzzled me for years, with various theories being bandied about in the privacy of our own home. However, upon investigation I discovered that friends and family have the same problem. With the marvels of technology, I could expand my research project to embrace the entire world, and was shocked to discover that it happens everywhere. Check it out - http://www.appliance.net/2008/missing-s ... teries-379

[Kiwi]

The real question is whether or not you believe in Sock Heaven?

Although I have decided God doesn't exist, I still believe there may be life after death for socks. Bad socks go to Sock Hell. Holy socks go to Sock Heaven.

[Pseudonym]

I thought they travel to the hozone layer.

[Brad]

Or a black sock hole.

[Kiwi]

No, you are confusing faith with science. Black sock holes and the hozone layer are observable phenomena. They are not a faith issue like the existence of Sock Heaven, nor a question of ethics like whether or not there should be socks before marriage.

[Pseudonym]

Heretic! There is no sock heaven. The only heaven is for used pens.

[Brad]

I’m confused.
Can people enter used pen heaven to reunite with their pens?
And if so, are men allowed to have lead in their pencils there?

And here on earth, clearly some socks rise above others, but don’t the Holey Washing Instructions tell us that all socks are fallen?

And by the way, a problem that isn't sufficiently recognized is socks after marriage - or so I've heard.

[Pseudonym]

Can people enter used pen heaven to reunite with their pens?

There is some debate about this. Some scholars believe that the use of the word "retractable" indicate that the writers thought that there was some kind of return between pens and their owners, but the details are lost to history.

And if so, are men allowed to have lead in their pencils there?

The authors probably thought not, but this was in an age before clutch and mechanical pencils. I don't know what modern thinking is on this.

And here on earth, clearly some socks rise above others, but don’t the Holey Washing Instructions tell us that all socks are fallen?

Yes, behind the washing machine.

[Magenta]

Holy socks go to Sock Heaven.

A friend of a friend of a friend has it on good authority that there is, in fact, a sock heaven. However, while many socks may aspire to qualifying to enter into sock heaven, struggling a lifetime to remain on the cramped pathway leading to the narrow door, some have been deeply disappointed in the prevailing Holier-Than-Thou attitude of other heavenly socks. Reportedly, some have even asked to leave, in order to test out the broad and spacious road, taking their chances that it may (or may not) lead to destruction.

[JustJim]

Reportedly, some have even asked to leave, in order to test out the broad and spacious road, taking their chances that it may (or may not) lead to destruction.

Or maybe they just got off on the wrong foot....

Jim