Sex! Woohoo!

[Emery]

Hey guys, we're back. And what better topic to start the new year of shows off than S-E-X! Hope you like the show, and how do you like the live (well, sort of live) music format? More music? Less? I'm hoping that dropping the music in live, and plugging the bands, will keep the copyright police off our backs.

Thanks for everyone's patience, Scott was a great guest yet again. And as always, send your Christian friends my way, we need them for more shows!

[Mr. Sluagh]

Damn, it's no fun when the Christians are reasonable.

[darkumbra]

Thanks for the 'cast. Easy listening as usual. It's really the 'Atheist and the reasonable Christian' show. Given Scott's 'constraints' he does a good job holding onto his Christian perspectives.

[ScottBarger]

Sorry folks. I will try to be a bit more feisty....it's just that Emery is so darned likable.


Scott

[darkumbra]

Sorry folks. I will try to be a bit more feisty....it's just that Emery is so darned likable.


Scott

Scott? You're pretty likable yourself. I admire your balancing act. I hope for you that it isn't too difficult... I get the impression it is sometimes.

A 'blessing' I'm fond of... 'Make time enough for Love'... not much else matters

Slainte
DU

[ScottBarger]

One of the more difficult things for me is know when to keep my "theological ponderings" to myself. Since I am a pastor of a church, It behooves me not to shake things up too much. If I weren't a pastor, I think it would be much easier to question different aspects of my faith.

[crazylegsmurphy]

Sweet, you're back!

I have to say though, this was one of the only podcasts where Emery seemed a little "squeamish". I found it funny when he was like, "how do I say this on a "G" rated show" yet, in other shows he's talking about burning in hell, and other violent outcomes of not believing in Zombie Jesus.

My personal thoughts are that you simply can't know who you are without having sex. To take a spot from Scott Barger's book, how can you know what foods you like unless you try a variety of them? That's not to say you go out and stuff your face at a buffet, but if you say, "I'm not going to eat hamburgers until I meet Ronald McDonald" you will never know if you even like burgers.

Basically what I am saying is that when two people throw themselves into a life long commitment without knowing what they do, and don't like...it then (IMO) becomes a struggle to fit a round peg and a square hole (no pun indented). If you're lucky enough to find someone you're sexually compatible with, then it might not be an issue, but if you end up with someone who is completely and utterly sexually incompatible then it can be a huge struggle to mesh.

I know in my own life there have been people I dated that I never would have been able to be with based on many different types of incompatibilities. In some cases sex was the only common ground we had.

What it comes down too is that in my opinion you can't fully give yourself to someone until you know who you are.

_______

My second thought is to the "lustful thoughts" issue.

I simply don't get this thought process. In the show Scott and Emery talked about how if you're always thinking about other women, then there must be a deeper problem. Scott even hinted at looking at porn as an indicator of this.

I don't agree. There is a reason that we don't eat hamburgers every night of the week and that is because we're not panda's (with the bamboo, not burgers). Humans like variety. It's why we hang different paintings in our houses, why we watch different kinds of movies, why we sometimes drink orange crush instead of grape.

In my own life, I tend to sway back and fourth between liking bigger breasts, to smaller breasts. When I notice girls (or seek out visual stimuli) with the breast size I'm into at the time, it doesn't mean that I suddenly don't like the other. If I were married and my wife had smaller breasts for example, it doesn't mean that my marriage would suddenly be in trouble if I got it in my head that bigger breasts were the "flavor of the week". It doesn't mean I wouldn't still find my wife attractive (because I'm assuming I would have married her for more than her physical assets).

I don't think there is anything wrong with letting your mind explore other possibilities. Sometimes it's nice to close your eyes and imagine what a life would be like with the girl who works in the office downstairs. Sometimes it's cool to look at someone on the street and get a passing flash of what it would be like to run away with her on a boat, to some exotic island where she wears a coconut bra and a grass skirt.

Allowing yourself to have these thoughts allows you to explore them safely. Like Emery said, if you bottle them up and shove them down, then you are probably doing more damage than good. If on the other hand you're finding that you're taking it out of the realm of thought, and acting on them, then yes, there is probably an issue that needs looking at (not that the issue is necessarily sex related as it can simply be a cause of a bigger issue).

So ya, I realize I probably didn't put my thoughts down very slick here (I wanted to get something down before I took off to work), but I hope you get my point.

It's good to have you guys back though.

[Mr. Sluagh]

Welcome to the board, Crazylegs!

Too bad you're not a Christian, though. We need more of those to keep things interesting.

[StillSearching]

Welcome to the board, Crazylegs!

Too bad you're not a Christian, though. We need more of those to keep things interesting.

Just curious...how do you know he's not a Christian?

[NH Baritone]

Welcome to the board, Crazylegs!

Too bad you're not a Christian, though. We need more of those to keep things interesting.

Just curious...how do you know he's not a Christian?

He's written as an atheist on another post:

viewtopic.php?f=4&t=1394&p=25909#p25909

[NH Baritone]

A couple of comments about the show:

I'm not sure that Scott did a lot to move away from the guilt-inducing discussions of sexuality. There was a lot of watch out, sexy thoughts are gonna getcha!

I am grateful, though, that the notion of hell was omitted from the discussion. But I found it equally puzzling that it took so long for the notion of love to arise.

I agree with CrazyLegs that Emery seemed a bit squeamish, but it's understandable since his (only partially resolved) adolescent pain seemed to echo through his closing remarks.

While I appreciate that Scott took a moment to say that the church has not gotten sexuality right, I have serious doubts that he spends each February encouraging church members to explore their own sexuality as they discover it. Just as in earlier discussions about gay issues, Scott has planted his himself astride a fence rail, only partially acknowledging and denouncing the condemnatory stances that hurt Emery so deeply in his youth, and unable to say that sexuality can find expression in a variety of healthy avenues.

For those who would like a more humanistic and respectful approach to sexual expression, try listening to Dan Savage's weekly sexual advice podcast, "Savage Love."

[ScottBarger]

Heya NH (et al) good to hear from you.

You are correct in assuming that I do not encourage people in my church to explore their own sexuality as they discover it. This is because, as a group, we have decided that our own morality will be shaped by the teachings of the Bible (in general) and the teachings of Jesus (in particular). I do not expect that those outside my faith community would form their understanding of their own sexuality and sexual morality in the same way, but for those inside the faith community this is how we have committed to doing it. Of course, anyone is welcome to join us, and we work hard not to foster condemning attitudes towards those outside our group, but we make no apology for the way we have chosen to develop our attitudes towards sex and morality.

Thanks all for the feedback. It is always fun for me to chat with Emery on the podcasts, and with the rest of you here on the forums.

[Emery]

Thanks for the kind feedback, guys. Listening to the show again, I'm always amazed at how eloquent Scott is. As for me, you're right, I was too squeamish to really express what I wanted to say. Perhaps blood and guts are easier to talk about than goils

Anyway, I don't think our show can give sex a proper airing, due to the decorum I think we try to keep. Really, sex needs a more irreverent treatment, to get to more honesty. With me trying to keep the show Christian-friendly, and Scott trying not to say something that will cause one of his flock to stumble I'm sure, sex gets a little short-changed.

Maybe, Scott, we can do a Sex part 2, but only after we each have drunk 3 beers and shot of tequila. What do you think?

[NH Baritone]

Maybe, Scott, we can do a Sex part 2, but only after we each have drunk 3 beers and shot of tequila. What do you think?

I'd want a ring-side seat for that recording session.

[ScottBarger]

That's actually not a bad idea....


I'm in.