Sweet, you're back!
I have to say though, this was one of the only podcasts where Emery seemed a little "squeamish". I found it funny when he was like, "how do I say this on a "G" rated show" yet, in other shows he's talking about burning in hell, and other violent outcomes of not believing in Zombie Jesus.
My personal thoughts are that you simply can't know who you are without having sex. To take a spot from Scott Barger's book, how can you know what foods you like unless you try a variety of them? That's not to say you go out and stuff your face at a buffet, but if you say, "I'm not going to eat hamburgers until I meet Ronald McDonald" you will never know if you even like burgers.
Basically what I am saying is that when two people throw themselves into a life long commitment without knowing what they do, and don't like...it then (IMO) becomes a struggle to fit a round peg and a square hole (no pun indented). If you're lucky enough to find someone you're sexually compatible with, then it might not be an issue, but if you end up with someone who is completely and utterly sexually incompatible then it can be a huge struggle to mesh.
I know in my own life there have been people I dated that I never would have been able to be with based on many different types of incompatibilities. In some cases sex was the only common ground we had.
What it comes down too is that in my opinion you can't fully give yourself to someone until you know who you are.
My second thought is to the "lustful thoughts" issue.
I simply don't get this thought process. In the show Scott and Emery talked about how if you're always thinking about other women, then there must be a deeper problem. Scott even hinted at looking at porn as an indicator of this.
I don't agree. There is a reason that we don't eat hamburgers every night of the week and that is because we're not panda's (with the bamboo, not burgers). Humans like variety. It's why we hang different paintings in our houses, why we watch different kinds of movies, why we sometimes drink orange crush instead of grape.
In my own life, I tend to sway back and fourth between liking bigger breasts, to smaller breasts. When I notice girls (or seek out visual stimuli) with the breast size I'm into at the time, it doesn't mean that I suddenly don't like the other. If I were married and my wife had smaller breasts for example, it doesn't mean that my marriage would suddenly be in trouble if I got it in my head that bigger breasts were the "flavor of the week". It doesn't mean I wouldn't still find my wife attractive (because I'm assuming I would have married her for more than her physical assets).
I don't think there is anything wrong with letting your mind explore other possibilities. Sometimes it's nice to close your eyes and imagine what a life would be like with the girl who works in the office downstairs. Sometimes it's cool to look at someone on the street and get a passing flash of what it would be like to run away with her on a boat, to some exotic island where she wears a coconut bra and a grass skirt.
Allowing yourself to have these thoughts allows you to explore them safely. Like Emery said, if you bottle them up and shove them down, then you are probably doing more damage than good. If on the other hand you're finding that you're taking it out of the realm of thought, and acting on them, then yes, there is probably an issue that needs looking at (not that the issue is necessarily sex related as it can simply be a cause of a bigger issue).
So ya, I realize I probably didn't put my thoughts down very slick here (I wanted to get something down before I took off to work), but I hope you get my point.
It's good to have you guys back though.